I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
