you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
operation have a gay friend backfired
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
