How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
