epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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