and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
