tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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