My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
