I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
