We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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