My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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