Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
