if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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