did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
