Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
