i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
