i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
