my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
