Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
