so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
