just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
