I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
