Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
