I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
