She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
