i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
