I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
