he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
