im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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