I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
