I look better un-naked...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize