i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
