every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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