i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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