He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
