we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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