I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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