god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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