They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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