I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
