she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
