this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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