Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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