Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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