We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
