How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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