So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
