i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Drake has all the answers
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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