I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
