bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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