so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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