Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
